Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Does Love Have to Hurt?

My friend asked me the other day Does Love Have to Hurt? I was asked do you see it coming? Are their signs? The truth of the matter is when love is in the picture I don't think you ever see heartbroken in the future. I don't think love hurts, I think that falling out of love or not having love when you want it hurts. Breakup hurts, parents divorcing hurts, abandonment hurts. The aftermath of these events hurt as well, not feeling appreciated, not feeling loved, not feeling wanted, not feeling good enough, feeling disrespected... and the list goes on and on to the point where you just don't want to feel anymore.

Although Love is warm and exciting its also unpredictable and thorny. There's no cliffs notes for love and how to sustain it. Sustain is the key word. When thinking of love and longevity, investment, dedication, creativity and openness comes to mind. That excitement and passion you have in the beginning is not enough to sustain for the long haul. You often hear people say communication is key. As I am growing and learning I find that to be the truest statement ever. Just as a good leader needs to know how to follow, a good communicator needs to know how to listen. So often in relationships we are not great communicators. We don't listen for understanding we are simply listening for a pause to start speaking again. Also what we say needs to be thought out way more than we do. Words can hurt just as much as actions. When we criticise we are going against building and contributing toward tearing down the relationship.
Compliments on the other hand are wonderful. Shakespeare's Romeo goes on and on for pages and pages professing his love and admiration for Juliet but for a couple today to just say those three words I Love You is a miracle. When a couple can express their emotions and feelings for each other that is a recipe for long lasting love and passion. Laughing is great. As adults we tend to loose that inner child that can love and live with abandon. A couple who can laugh together and have adventures with each other would have a great lasting friendship. I feel like if friendship and trust is at the core of the relationship it has a chance to last.

People are made to be loved, Things are made to be used. Its hard but if you love like you have never been hurt maybe life can be lived in a full way. So to my friend yes sometimes love can hurt but I would rather have love than not.