Friday, August 29, 2008

Im Gonna Stand

My First Poem: Written in 2002
I remember the frist time that I realized that being black was seen as being different. I am not talking about my nappy roots black, my big lips and hips kind of black, my got the holy ghost, eyes rolling, hand clapping, eating collard greens and mac and cheese. No I am talking about a different feeling. A disconnected feeling from "others" that dont look like me, my race, my ethnicity, my check this box if you are this , kind of me. Im talking about my unpopular complection me. Trying to ignore preconceived perceptions of what i am suppose to be. How many times do I have to chant Black Is Beautiful, Black Is Beautiful, Black Is Beautiful just to love me, myself and I. I. I have learned that my place in society is the very element that contributes to my daily struggle for my spirit to survive. I am trying to unlearn that feeling of inferiority as a so called minority of any given circumstance. Trying to overstand this black self as a socially constructed fiction and create my own "herstory" composition. "Ive got the skin with the tan thats grand, not from sunnin in the sand but from the motherland". New age, dark maids and exotic characters bulged eyes staring at me in the idiot box, saying yes a massa but fuck all that cause ill be your Nefertti but NOT your Aunt Jamaima. Sometimes I feel like im on the break of insanity but my present mind continually organizes my past mind and I slow dance for awhile and realize that everything will be fine with just a little time.
I will not bow down to my racism

I will not bow down to explotation

I will not bow down to injustice

Im gonna stand, Im gonna stand